Restorying our Lives, constructing our Selves through our Relationships – limits and possibilities

My original intention for my Ph.D. was to continue research started in my Master of Psychology studies on the co-construction of knowledge in adult learning training programs. During the early reading phases of the program, under the guidance of my advisor, Sheila McNamee, I became fascinated with the alternative approach to the concept of personality that social constructionist thinking puts forward.  As a psychologist, I have found it challenging to look at myself, and others, as a multitude of selves all constructed in relationship.

My inquiry or journey is inspired by the social constructionist approach.  I am interested in how we construct ourselves in our relationships with others, within the communities and discourses in which we are raised and live. In this work I want to explore the discourses I was familiar with, my positioning within them, in the way that I presented myself to others, and the multiplicity of selves or resources that I drew on from within my own experience, and those I constructed in relationship with others.

In this autoethnography, I recount my life with my son who was diagnosed with a genetic syndrome at the age of 16.  I explore his developmental difficulties and the advice and discursive constructions of teachers, psychiatrists, and other medical doctors through our own story telling but also referring to school, medical and social assistance reports. I examine correspondence with my parents (since1984 when I was expecting my son), those close to me, and my personal journals.  I also relate the stories concerning his diagnosis and the impact this diagnosis has had on him and the family as a way to explore how he has constructed his identity.

At this point in time, I am encouraging my son to collaborate with me in this project, making contributions through discussion, photos, or his own writing. He has agreed to my inquiry, as has his sister, my children’s father, and my husband. I also include my conversations with other parents whose children were diagnosed in their teenage years.

I will layer this account with analyses of discourses of motherhood/parenthood, living with children who have developmental difficulties, ADHD, Klinefelter syndrome, support conditions in the provision of professional support, and the notion of construction of identity compared to concept of the bounded, essential personality.

The purpose of this dual inquiry is to restory our lives, i.e. to claim alternative meanings of the difficulties of both parent and child as experts of their own lives. It will hopefully provide insight to other parents and professional support providers and demonstrate the process of restorying.

References:

• Ellis, C. (2004) The Ethnographic I: a methodological novel about autoethnography, Waltnut Creek, CA: AltaMira Press
• Gergen, K.J. (2008) Therapeutic challenges of multi-being in Journal of Family Therapy 30 333-348
• Stone, H. and Stone, S. L. (1989) Embracing Our Selves: Voice Dialogue Manual, Novato, CA: New World Library
• Kate Lindley Scheidegger is an organizational development consultant, trainer, facilitator and coach. She holds a B.Sc. and a M.Sc. in Psychology from the Open University, England. She lives in Geneva, Switzerland.